This post discusses abuse in schools.
"You can't tell anyone what you see here", I'm told as I enter a room. It's supposedly for the children's benefit, to keep people from stigmatizing them further, but the stigma exists, and knowledge of what happens within one room doesn't stop that.
It's supposedly for children, but the "you'll never be allowed here again" exists. And the other unspoken, how much can these people control what I am and am not allowed to do? Or even, these are people who do have knowledge about my disability. What can they do to me?
It's given in a way that people can call friendly, can hide behind a mask of wanting to do the best for those poor disabled children, wouldn't anyone want to do the best things for them, if you don't why don't you care about them, but the threat towards those who are aware enough that maybe what is going on isn't the right thing permeates.
But in these rooms, they're hiding.
The threatening the children for being anxious. Or for taking time to process instructions. Or for having preferences. Or just because the adult feels like threatening someone. The preventing children from attempting any academics because "they aren't capable anyways". The infantalization surrounding every interaction between adult and child. No, that can't be discussed.
The restraints done for absolutely no reason. Adults doing whatever they can to escalate meltdowns. Children hearing their teachers discuss how much they hate these kids. These things can't be discussed.
Controlling every aspect of a child's life. Convincing them they're pawns that exist to serve. Children learning it is all their fault. Those can't be discussed.
Because "You can't tell anyone what you see here."
Being told it's for the children. The children will get hurt if you tell anyone. And you know this isn't true. You know the children are getting hurt, right at this moment.
And yet there's the question, will it get worse, because you've seen it, when you speak up, children are hurt in order to stop you. Things being done to them which hadn't been done before you said that no, this is not okay.
And there's the knowledge that you can't be there if they stop you from being there. How much worse it is when you can't try to save these children you care about?
So there's these threats, and they are held there, and the question keeps being, is it worth listening to the threat or not, which does the least harm?