I'm gendervague and neuroqueer, my gender cannot be entirely explained because of my neurodivergences but the part that can be explained is the act of queering my neurodivergences. My gender is a noun and a verb at the same time and there is nothing contradictory about that because we are all contradictory and being forced into a society which hates us.
My gender is what it is, and it is never going to make sense to me, not to mention other people.
My gender is what it is, and it is never going to make sense to me, not to mention other people.
My AAC is part of my gender presentation. My AAC is also part of my gender - as I take this communication which actually works for me and claim it. As I am forceful this is me and how I am and you need to listen. That is part of my gender not only my gender presentation.
My AAC is part of my gender presentation but my communication and not denying it, making it my own, being me and communicating as myself, and being in ways that are shifting norms about no this is how I do in fact communicate it is my choice, that is absolutely more deeply gender in a way I don't have words for.
The first time I felt gender euphoria and could identify it as such it was from getting ankle braces that actually helped. My disabled gender was euphoric about finally being closer to the me I knew I was but nobody would believe.
Sometimes things are complicated. It's not just disability or gender. It's not just assistive tech or working on getting a gender presentation where you might dissociate slightly less. Or really gender is always complicated and sometimes that's in this manner.
Voice is part of my gender presentation of my AAC. But so is visibly using AAC at all. Choices about cases is part of my gender presentation. So is the choice of low tech or high tech.
I am nonbinary.
I am nonbinary like sometimes I choose high tech and sometimes I choose low tech and often I use high tech and no tech in the same conversation. Sometimes I use iOS and sometimes I use android and having both set up is more beneficial and it is more me.
I'm nonbinary like typing or symbols doesn't make sense. I do both and. Or neither. Or one or the other. I most often am using typing with symbol prediction and that most likely is thrown out so frequently you can't depend on that assumption being true. It's never this kind of communication or that. That's pinning us into boxes yet again where we should not be pinned.
We're cats after all and boxes are for jumping into when you want to but when someone else holds you there it's never gonna be friendly.
And yes this is gender it's not only gender but having and using assistive tech that I need without shame is intertwined with gender and gender presentation. And when you're claiming that symbol based AAC is only for kids and I'm handflapping sharing moments where I can show a child that I communicate like they do they can be an adult with such communication that's all of me.
I am nonbinary like I when writing this I used multiple different AAC apps alongside other tools for writing. I don't have to assume my choices are limited to writing tools and tools for speaking aloud. I don't have to stick with one when it's no longer the best.
We can do what is best in the moment even though it might be different 5 minutes from now. We can use both or neither or make up something you never would have considered we can do what fits.
I am nonbinary like all of me is nonbinary. And that includes how I don't have to fit into other boxes either.
My assistive tech gives me gender euphoria, and my assistive tech let's me interact in manners which fit me, and my assistive tech is part of me. And when it's part of me it has to be intertwined with my gender, part of it and separate - both can be true and both have to be, because I have a gender and my body is part of that and separate, both true.
I can be the person who is nonbinary like sometimes I walk without aid and sometimes I use a wheelchair, sometimes I use crutches and sometimes braces are enough. And importantly sometimes I am surprised and now unexpectedly need more human assistance because I can't do it on my own.
I can be someone who needs help and that doesn't make me not trans.
I am someone who is who I am with varying needs and varying disability presentation and this isn't my gender presentation but absolutely helps define it.
And how I react beyond survival is absolutely interconnected with self and gender.
My AAC is part of my gender presentation. My AAC is part of my gender identity.
The first time I wrote the latter it was a mistake. Something I didn't notice for quite a while and by that point I thought it felt like it fit. It fits because it's true.
In many ways my gender is a presentation and that presentation is telling you that you can be you and you deserve the tools necessary to be yourself.
In other ways it's so far from that I don't have the words and I need to tell myself the same thing. It's okay to be me.