My vision blurs and my head spins
every step becomes a mountain
every minute, who knows?
The noises blur,
louder and louder
coming at me from every which way
indistinguishable,
just a cacophony of pain
My tunnel shrinks
False lights blinking and flying
Blurring, shrinking, growing, moving
all of the information, lost in the shuffle
The ground begins to move
and I flip - upside down
So many lies about how I am moving
Walking? Shuffling? How do I balance?
I don't even know where I am.
My arms, my legs,
what are these things?
You've helped, and I've found them.
I can once more move; am no longer trapped
with the fear,
knowing I'm unable to move.
But still, they won't listen.
My fingers won't hold things
the doors, won't open when I push.
The movements hold me in their own new way.
Spinning, blurring, unable to speak
Unable to remember words
Unable to hold onto ideas
Unable to speak those few things I can find
Lost, confused, and trying to find a way
through the maze that keeps building itself.
Every task having more and more steps added,
and the steps in the middle stolen.
Every path having more and more obstacles being put in my way
As the pain, increases.
And the rest does as well.
Until eventually I find that way through, in its own weird way.
Or I don't.
Because what I do
or don't do
is dependent on how my brain works today
Not on your expectations.
No comments:
Post a Comment