Monday, January 28, 2019

Your child is a child

Your child is a child

Want to hear that again?

Your autistic child. Your disabled child. Your child, who you are scared about, who you hear all of this fear mongering speech about. Is a child.

You're confused. You're scared. You don't know what to do. That's fine. But your kid is a kid. Your kid needs to be a kid, because they are a kid. Autism doesn't take away their childhood. Autism doesn't make your 5 year old not a 5 year old. Autism doesn't mean your teenager isn't a teenager. Your child is a child.

What's happening. Where do you turn. Stop, and think, and let yourself calm down. Because what your kid needs is to be loved, like a child. To be respected, like a child, to be parented, like a child.

Your child is growing and learning and an amazing being, who is themselves, their own unique being. And you don't have all the answers, because you don't know anyone else who's child has all the same needs and interests and ways of interacting with the world as yours does. But all children grow and learn. Autism doesn't change that. Autism doesn't mean your child won't grow up and be an adult.

And when you need to ask questions, you can say, my child is autistic, how does that apply, because lets find the ways to make this world less awful for someone like them, lets find the ways to teach how to advocate, lets find the ways to be, and love who you are in such a world. And at the same time you can say, my child is a child. They will babble, they will question and learn their body as their body grows, they will question you and push boundaries. They will be their own unique amazing being who's growing into an adult and finding their way.

And that means yes, your child is disabled, and you can't ignore that, don't make your child grow up unsupported and unaware. It means yes, your child is autistic, and having the resources of autistic adults in particular can be very valuable. But it also means simply, your child will grow up because right now they are young, and they won't be young forever.

Autistic children grow into autistic adults. We don't stay children forever. We grow, we learn. We are, we exist. Your child will grow up. Don't forget that.

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