you claim those exist

Accommodations

Yeah, you claim those ever exist.

I'm told they're for "people like me", given as reasons you don't need to make spaces accessible, yelled at for taking too much.

You claim they exist.

Or I mean, I can get accommodated, sometimes, rarely. But only for some labels, only if I talk the right way, only if you see me the right way, and even then I'm more likely to have things promised and never appear.  I can get someone to recognize my disability, to not immediately treat me as it's a personal failing, if I make it entirely about them and not about me.

I'm autistic.

What, you think I could have someone care?

You tell people so often you need to accommodate us, you show all the inspo porn of people going out of their way to pretend to treat us like human for half a moment. You think anyone would care so much as to do something I say I need directly?

Because it doesn't happen.

It never does.

Well, unless I instead say "I have severe migraines" because I'm struggling with sensory overload but holding it together enough to say something. And I don't want to deal with the migraines that come from sensory overload either.

But if they hear the label autistic they don't care. You don't care.

I'm just supposed to do better. I'm supposed to act like you want. I'm supposed to be fixed. It's behavioral don't I know.

Even when I'm using my AAC, it's a choice if it's autism that you think, and if it's concussion if it's migraine, if it's some legitimate neurological reason I might be listened to.

Probably not, but maybe.

Probably it's too hard. Probably it's too much to think about. Probably it's but how could I expect that much.

Even when it's tell me how to get away. Or when to. Even when I'm saying I'll do everything I just need to know what to do.

It's too hard to try.

It's too hard to listen.

Its too hard to care about me.

I'm told about accommodations, have it made into blaming me, why am I not trying hard enough to make people do what I need, I just need to ask. 

No matter what I do they don't listen, but why should I need to spend more energy on trying to go anywhere than anything I would get to do.

I'm told this is for everyone.

Which just means I get to know who they think everyone is.