Real Person

I'm not a person to you if I'm only recognized when you see how much I can do. I'm not a person to you if you deny me my personhood when you only see the autistic spinning rather than the educator. I'm not a person to you unless I'm even a person curled up in the corner, rocking, and unable to communicate in any way that you request.

My personhood is not determined based on whether I'm inspirational, whether I'm successful, or whether I'm managing to be "useful" right now. It doesn't flip-flop on whether I'm seen as disabled or passed into personhood.

My personhood is a non-changing state of being. And if you don't accept it, you are the ones judging me because I'm not an inspirational enough story for your cause.

I'm actually a being here, not a story.

When you suddenly personize me, suddenly give me personhood, you're not suddenly opening up all of what is available to others. You're saying "but, only if you manage to be good enough"; you're putting requirements on my ability to be recognized. You're making statements about how I should be, how I need to be, in order to be accepted into Real People, rather than those fakes that are how I really am. And you're saying at the same time, that I'm not a Real Person, because I cannot keep up those requirements.

When you remove that personhood - it's a reminder again, of how I'm never good enough. How it doesn't matter what I do, I'll always be a lesser being in the minds of so many around me. I'll keep going, but I'll never be in the same class, always lesser, never Real. When you remove that personhood, I'm back with the others like me - those who make due, those who find their way.

When you change my personhood based on the eyes you view me with, you aren't making it easier, you aren't making it friendlier to face the world. Please, unless you can always recognize me as a Person, all of what that means - not in the way that makes you your own inspirational story for befriending "one of those", then realize that I'm not Real, our society disallows for that.