Rigid Thinking

It's claimed that autistics have this rigid "black-and-white" thinking. That we aren't "flexible enough" in how we think. That we need to learn how to think how others do, because we don't understand how to think outside of our own ways.

Allistics are just as rigid in their thinking as autistics.

Oh you autistic person, you need to learn how to think how someone else does, you need to think in their way. Well, we're already doing all that work. Allistics aren't doing anything to learn to think and try to accommodate us. How's that for "black-and-white" thinking. We must be entirely like them. We must do everything their way. There cannot be accommodation. There must be assimilation. We already know that. That's not autistics being rigid.

Allistics make all sorts of claims about how rigid autistics are, and don't listen to us. They claim that we can't be listened to because we're just being "rigid" and yet they are claiming "all autistics" this and all autistics that. They claim none of us can do things, all of us must do things, none of us can be listened to. Listening to allistics speak about autistics is listening to rigid speaking in extremes.

And in general this is how things work. Sure, autistics are rigid. People are rigid. Rigid is about controlling your environment, controlling what's around you, trying to make things acceptable for you. What is "acceptable" varies, but that's what people do, whether it is requiring routines to get through the day, or refusing to listen to anyone who makes them question their view point. Being rigid isn't an autistic thing. It's a human thing. Being rigid is pathologized in autistics. That doesn't mean that only autistics are rigid. That doesn't mean that others aren't.

It means that allistics get away with being rigid, and push us aside because we're being "too rigid", we need to change, we need to do things their way, even when we're doing most things their way anyways. It's yet another reason they are listened to over us, you can't listen to someone who isn't flexible enough right? (But it's not like they're being flexible). It means that our rigidity is pathologized and theirs is ignored.

And autistics use this as an excuse too. They say rigid thinking is just how it has to be. It's "just" autistic rigid thinking. "Oh, I'm not transphobic, I just can't comprehend the existence of trans people existing." I mean, it's not like allistics don't do that to us too. It's not like we aren't screamed at repeatedly about how we simply don't exist, and how that's not 'transphobic' it's not like they hate us, they are just claiming we don't exist, they don't want to hurt us, ignoring that these statements do hurt us by denying our existence. But it's "just rigid thinking". Even though it's the same patterns. Even though in both cases it's people who are refusing to acknowledge someone who is outside the bounds of what they consider "normal", and they are claiming only "normal" people exist. It's the same rigid thinking.

It's not autistic to not know things. It's human. But when it's called autistic, it's now a symptom, it's now something which is pathologized, it's now something that is wrong about us, and it's now something that people claim is just a part of who they are so they don't have to bother thinking about whether or not other people exist.

Time and time again people are just like "oh it's just autistic rigid thinking" in order to claim it doesn't matter the abuse that people are doing, to excuse the oppression." That doesn't change what it does to us. That doesn't change what it does to everyone who this is said to. That doesn't make it somehow just an autistic thing. And it doesn't make it somehow a thing that is an immutable fact of the universe that autistics can't grow, can't learn, can't change. We are human too.

Autistics can hurt people. Autistics can abuse people. It doesn't matter how many times you say "I'm not tranphobic but" or claim some other -ism isn't happening because of "rigid thinking" excusing it.

When you say to me that I don't exist that hurts. You can't claim it doesn't. You can't claim that it shouldn't, because you're autistic.

And "but rigid thinking" will not change that.

In both cases, this is people being people, it's not autistics, it's not allistics, it's how we pathologize just a human trait. It's who gets treated how. And in both cases, I'm told I can't be listened to, I can't exist, I shouldn't exist.

Because rigid thinking makes it so.