My AAC is my normal voice

CN: abusive speech therapy

When I was a child I was put in speech therapy because I didn't speak properly.

Sounds don't work that way. They don't combine those ways. They are more predictable than that. Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know.

Just do this. (But how?)

Just do what I say. (I know I'm wrong. I'm trying, it's not good enough)

Say these again. You need to repeat until you do it right. (But, why does saying cat like you do matter? people already know what I say)

You aren't trying hard enough, nobody will ever understand you. (I can't make sounds go right order in words you don't make me say over and over again anyways. I'm not saying anything. I don't want more words to say over and over.)

You don't need anymore speech therapy. [You speak properly now]

Don't you know, that the people coming up to me and making fun of my voice is something that doesn't happen enough I don't know how to talk about it. I know my voice is uncanny valley. But none of this bullying that has lasted into adulthood happens. My speech is normal now. They said so.

Don't you know, I don't need any sorts of support, I can't just speak. My speech is normal you see. What I actually need for supports isn't what matters. It's what people deem as normal. It's what people deem as close enough to normal.

Don't you know, it's do I try hard enough, when anyone notices my speech isn't like theirs its because I'm not trying hard enough. Don't you know if I can't read aloud its because I'm not trying hard enough. Don't you know if I get overly fatigued and my mouth stops moving in anything like word positions its because I'm not trying hard enough. Don't you know I just need to try, with more energy than any person, non-disabled, or disabled has. Because I need to look like others want.

Or that's what I'm told. That's what I have been told. That's what I was told for much of my life.

I talk about not using AAC until I was an adult. I was told my speech was normal. I just needed to make it sound normal. It was just needing to try.

I wasn't directly told AAC was failing, but they didn't have to.

I was told I was normal I was told I was normal I was told I was normal. I was told I had to be normal.

If you don't speak like this nobody will understand you

There's no alternative. I wasn't told AAC was a failure, but they don't need to say that when you're told there's no alternative.

My AAC is my normal voice.

Do people have to be normal to be understood and important and relevant and people? No.

But if my speech is normal, then my AAC is my normal voice.