I'm afraid I sit here, my voice not responding, knowing I'm at work Knowing that I have the choice Attempt to continue Or take care of myself
Yet taking care of myself won't make a difference I'll still be in pain There's not even a way to sleep I have to push on either way
So why not, step up Pick up a my cane Push up, hold myself up, wobbling But stepping One step Two step Step by step, until I make it down the hall
Why not go on to the next class, no matter my pain? No matter my balance issues My senses throwing abnormal information My nausea And fighting to stay awake No matter what ever is happening today Why not?
I'm afraid As I sit here, my voice not responding People walking in, trying to speak to me, and me not being able to reply
Staring down at my phone, looking at my app, knowing its usefulness And knowing here, I'm already disbelieved, looked down on, and supposed to be a "professional adult"
I have my solution I can go, I can type, I like my app But, will they respect me if I do?
Will I be treated as a person? Will my knowledge be ignored? Will what I've accomplished already be discarded because of my disability?
Is acknowledging who I am Allowing myself to show And allowing myself to take care of myself Professionally safe?
I don't know.
I sit, not replying Not knowing whether or not to click the saved phrase Saying to those speaking to me "I have a migraine"
Until eventually I decide to go to class And there, sit, not speaking And not saying anything with my phone.
I feel like I did something wrong.