Calm Body, they say
Stopping your motions.
Controlling you, making that clear.
But, aside, I flap, I tap, I twirl my fingers.
That calm body doesn't apply to me.
Calm Body they say,
And they expect me to repeat.
(because clearly I've been "fixed" if I can work)
But, no,
I follow your stims, and repeat them back to you,
Listening to your body with my own.
Calm Body, they say.
And I listen
(but not how they expect)
Learning when they're there to watch
Distracting
Protecting
Calm Body, they say.
Teaching compliance,
But instead I teach you how to say no.
Calm Body,
No.
Not mine.
I flap in the hallways.
As I let them all see that I'm proud of who I am.
Not mine,
even as they pull control from me,
even as my needs are ignored,
even as I'm told "I don't really stim"
Not mine,
And I show you that.
Because even if you're hiding now, I want you to see me.
Not mine.
And I show them that.
Because If they recognize me,
maybe they'll recognize you.
But for now,
I'll just help you find ways to subvert that
Calm Body.
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