Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Can I do everything or nothing today?

What? Why are you surprised by me asking? I'm told this, aren't I? I'm told whether I can do anything I'm asked, or whether I shouldn't even try because I can't manage. I'm told whether my capabilities mean I have no impairments, or my impairments mean I have no capabilities. It can't be anything in between of course.

So, tell me, which are you assuming about me today?

Is it the ever-common, because you are verbal, you can always communicate everything you want?
Or maybe, the if you can type, then you can do all sorts of self-care?

Is it that being in a relationship means all social interactions are a breeze?
Or that holding a job means that all impairments melt away, and no accommodations are necessary?

Is it that having meltdowns means that I will lash out and hurt you?
Or that I choose to hurt people when I shutdown, not being able to reply?

Is it that walking in public alone means that my body is reliable?
Or that because I need help to get through a city, I am incompetent and unintelligent?

Is it that I'm a liar when I talk about myself?
Is it that I cannot know my own experiences, or that someone like me can never be trusted to speak the truth?

Is it that I'm not allowed to ask for help, and any excuse is to be found?
Is it that I am too lazy to try?

Do you have to assume that it is impossible to be capable of much and still struggle with things you find simple?
Can you not understand that varying capabilities are normal anyways, we just take it to a further degree, to a degree you don't understand?
Am I just so uncanny valley to not be human enough to be able to have a voice to say things about myself?

So I ask again, what am I capable of today?

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